How To Cope With Loneliness

combat loneliness

The cure for loneliness

Loneliness is the byproduct of ending a relationship. But it doesn’t have to last forever. Do you know how to find your way out of loneliness? “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven out of hell, a hell out of heaven.” -John Milton

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What you’re left with when your marriage ends, or your relationship is over is a whole lot of negative emotions and painful feelings that can overwhelm you. But one of the worst things you’re left with is loneliness.

Signs of loneliness

Loneliness is something which we all experience for a certain amount of time and to a certain degree at some point in our lives. It is said that we come into this life alone and we leave alone; but is this really the truth? Many would argue that the opposite is true and I have to say that I would agree with this latter perspective.

Some of us are more fortunate than others in that we only experience loneliness for a short period of time and are not affected by it in an emotionally adverse way. There are many different ways in which loneliness can bite into our emotional equilibrium. It is possible to have a lonely childhood or to feel lonely in school or college. A different kind of loneliness is experienced when you lose a loved one, either in terms of a relationship breakup or through bereavement.

Consequences of loneliness

We as a race are not naturally designed to be alone. Our perceptions of self are formed through interaction with others and the observation of how other people are affected by us or how they react and respond to us. One of the most severe forms of punishment which is meted out is that of solitary confinement. Anyone who has followed the audio tour at Alcatraz will have heard the accounts by inmates of the effect which such lonely punishment had upon them.

Our evolutionary survival instincts also reaffirm the necessity to form a bond with others as a matter of necessity. Our desire to procreate successfully also necessitates a partner in this life. Being alone and feeling lonely are not situations which sit well with us except for small and controlled amounts of time.

When loneliness strikes

And so the question we all face at one point or another in our lives is how do we best cope with loneliness? You can be surrounded by other people and yet still feel lonely. You can be busy and have myriad interests and yet still be lonely. By the same token, it is also possible for one to be completely alone and yet feel relaxed, complete and whole.

Loneliness is, however, a comparative feeling. You only feel lonely when you are comparing your situation now with something you have had or something which you desire. In this sense, loneliness is conditional upon how you choose to look at your circumstances. This is, in fact, true of every emotion but something which one should be highly aware of if you wish to shift away from a feeling of being swamped by loneliness.

How to combat loneliness

When you feel lonely your point of focus is not in the here and now; rather you are more aware of either what you had before and are now missing, or on what you would like to have and are also missing. You have to change your viewpoint, change your perspective and change your focus so as to escape from that blanket of loneliness.

Once you focus on being in the now, and upon enjoying each moment you will feel a whole lot better. An additional shift toward gratitude is also an important element. As you seek to feel thankful for things your attention will move to what you have got as opposed to what you have not got.

A further point of focus which some people may find appealing, depending upon your own individual beliefs, is to pay heed to your spiritual nature. In doing this, you will never feel alone.

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